"This past election, Terri Schiavo proudly voted for me"
"But Mr. President, she's a vegetable, how could she-"
"It's what she wanted, so I dragged her to the voting booth, grabbed her arm, and checked my name off on the ballot for her"
"Is that true, Mr. President?"
"Well, actually no. It isn't. I had somebody else drag her there for me. I'm a busy man."
Of all the people dying and suffering in the world, who George Bush has pissed on, he decides that this one woman (who is only good for rolling her head every 20-30 minutes, mind you) deserves life. That's totally awesome. So fuck you, homeless man dying in the street who wants to live, and fuck you old lady who wants to live but is dying because she can't afford her medication; George Bush has made his choice. He chose to keep alive the woman who can't even say she wants to live. Better luck next time, suckers. Thanks for playing the game of life. Now go die somewhere where I won't have to smell your corpses.
When somebody's dog gets as sick as Terri Shiavo, you know what they do? They bring it to the vet and have it put to sleep. But if I'm dying, and I don't want to suffer, my doctor isn't allowed to put me to sleep because that's illegal. Of course my dog should have more rights than I do. It only makes sense. See, I pay taxes, and in the off chance that I do make it, I can continue to pay taxes. Nobody wants to risk losing a tax payer. Even if his chest burns from cancer. He just has to ride it out.
That's not the case with Terri, though, cause you can soooo tell that she wants to live. She might not be able to say it, but put yourself in her shoes even though she doesn't need shoes because she can't walk. There you are, laying in a nice confortable hospital bed. Yeah, isn't that comfy? Now whenever you want, you can roll your head to the left and, get this, even to the right. Nice, huh? Talk about a first class treatment. You're living like royalty. This is the life. You've got your own room with your own bed, and your own ceiling to stare at all day long. It just doesn't get any better than this, does it? It won't either. Nope, it won't get better than this. Every doctor we've asked has said this is how you will be for the rest of your "life" as long as they keep you on those machines. Do you like how I put "life" in quotation marks? Clever huh? I'm sure you get it. You just can't laugh.
They removed the feeding tubes from Terry Schiavo and now, outside her hospital, protestors are holding signs that say "Feed Terri". I say Eat Terri. That's right, eat her. She's no good to us, so let's keep the circle of life moving, and feed her body to all the hungry people, and animals out there. They can use the food, and I'm sure Terri won't mind. Go ahead, ask her.
If we eat Terri, we can all move along with our lives.The news can go back to reporting things that matter, and George Bush can go back to killing people who don't want to die. All parties will be happy. .
