Needless to say, I'm a fan of the Friday the 13th series. Being a Friday the 13th fan is a tricky thing. If you like movies at all, then, in theory, you're supposed to hate the Friday the 13th movies because of several key reasons -
1. Horrible acting
2. Worthless characters
3. Pointless plot
4. Shitty dialogue
5. Cheesy special effects, and makeup
6. Not scary
7. Not scary
8. Not scary
I am quite aware of the above list. Some fans of the series would make the case that those are the exact reasons that they love the movies. The "It's so bad it's good" argument. I can't even attest to that. I'll admit that the Friday the 13th films are slick logs of poodle shit on the movie totem pole. They're the crusty pubes on the pube farm. However, they serve one function that many other movies don't achieve. I'm not even sure if this is intended, but this is what I get out of Friday the 13th movies. Each film sets up a group of mindless characters played by actors not even worthy of roles in the insult to art that is community theater. Their bantering dialogue which ceases to create any semblance of plot whatsoever drags on for a good 20 minutes. It is at about this time that the torture you've put yourself through begins to wane. Some kind of masked hero emerges from within the forest and begins to slaughter everything you've grown to hate over the past twenty minutes in the most creative ways.
That kid who wouldnt stop talking about weed every chance he got, "Weed, weed, weed. Hey man what's going on? Weed, huh? Weed weed. The other day I weed, and then weed because weed at my weed weed. Did you jointy weed your high stoned baked?" Yeah well, now Weedy Bird's nailed to a tree with the compass that's jammed in his right eye.
How about the girl who went on and on about her ugly 80's titties? Yeah, the one who kept doing her makeup and hair while she talked about all the guys she wanted to "Do it" with. Where is she now? Oh, there she is. Dead, on the bathroom floor with a broken piece of mirror lodged in her forehead.
Who is this masked man of mystery from within the woods? Why, it's Jason Voorhees, character of very little backstory who kills for no better reason than to appease your sick fantasies. A true hero. Unlike Superman, or Batman who parade around saving the world, Jason Voorhees does the real dirty work, ridding the world of people who slighly annoy you to the degree where you wouldn't mind seeing their throat slit.